![]() ![]() Apple is covering its butt legally - a link between disease and cell phone use is by no means clearly established. All pockets, therefore, aren’t exactly endorsed, and the ones most proximal to gonads likely least so. ![]() This is the choice with no clear drawbacks, beyond the fact that cell phone manufacturers technically recommend you keep phones further than 15 millimeters from your skin. When you are answering a text, not drawing a sword, keeping your phone in your non-dominant side is a somewhat inefficient decision. There is a roughly 70 percent chance that you hold your phone with your dominant hand to the same side of your head (e.g., to your right ear if you’re right-handed). Sure, you can take it out when you sit down, but nothing good has ever come from leaving your phone on the bar. But not, perhaps, your back: Physiotherapists, still reeling from that Seinfeld bit, have been warning about “hip-pocket syndrome” - pinched nerves thanks to sitting on bulky objects - for the past decade. ![]() If your phone is protected or reinforced, depending on the thickness of its shell, that might save your device. Apple says these pockets should be avoided lest you end up with a case of busted iPhone disease upon taking a seat. If you eschew cargo pants and phone holsters, there are, essentially, three options:īack pockets are the choice of the rebellious and reckless. This situation leaves us with a question to answer: What’s the best pocket to stick the damn thing in? What separates us from the Darth Vader and RoboCop breeds is simply that we’re modular, which is to say our mechanical parts are separate entities and not jammed, a la Tony Stark’s arc reactor, into our chest cavities - though who knows about the iPhone 8. These machines are extensions of voices, memories, and brains, squashed between a lithium-ion battery and a fruit logo. We are cyborgs now, thanks to our smartphones. ![]()
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